wake up the next day feeling like life is good once again. It helped, too, that Dallas handled the situation more maturely than I did :). He was able to move on far more quickly than I was. And even though he might like to hide from the nastiness of the world, he went to school and faced it all head on.This past Thursday, Dallas found out that two of his "friends" at our homeschool tutorial group had played a little prank on him. Dallas has had a YouTube page online for a year or more where he proudly posts videos of himself playing guitar, performing magic tricks, riding his skateboard, etc... These two boys also have a YouTube account and they decided it would be fun to make some changes to some of Dallas's videos. The first video they made was a rap version of Dallas's videos... which included adding the sounds of cricketts during Dallas's magic tricks, freezing his face in odd positions, and making him repeat words. The second video was titled "Farting" and was an edited version of Dallas's guitar video with the addition of farting sounds and the comment "This boy stinks anyway."
Keep in mind, we have had these boys over to our house for a camp out, to spend the night, taken them ice skating and invited them to Dallas's birthday party. Dallas considered them his friends. Being a docile but now angry mom, I called the mother of one of the boys involved. She reacted with the approriate amount of shock and said she would talk to her son.
Within a few short minutes, she called me back sounding much less appropriately frustrated with her son and instead more condemning of me and Dallas. She told me that they would remove the videos and her son would write an apology letter to Dallas. Nevertheless, she went on to tell me that her son said that he felt like Dallas doesn't include him in things. As IF that was an excuse for the hurtful videos and cruel comment her son had posted on the World Wide FREAKING Web of Dallas. She went on to LECTURE me about how I needed to talk to Dallas about this and that even though they don't have to be great friends, they could at least be nice to each other.
And WHAT DID I DO?? Nothing!! I said as little as I could and got off the phone as fast as I could. She lectured me for several minutes and rather than defend myself and my son, I just sat there and listened to the complete nonsense she was launching at me. I have always struggled with confrontation and I hate that about myself. When people confront me, my mind goes blank, I start shaking, my voice sounds quavery and I completely back down. I think of all the things I should have said the minute I am out of the situation.
I have tried to tell myself that I did the right thing by not hurling insults at her and telling her exactly how I felt. And I guess it made it easier to move forward today knowing that I have nothing to regret. Dallas certainly moved forward. There has to be a happy medium in there somewhere... a line where I feel good about my response, not back down, but express exactly what I feel without getting out of control. Maybe someday I will get there. Probably not... but at least I can always blog about all the things I would have liked to have said... like a therapy session for the feeble and wimpy :)
4 comments:
Oh Devon, being a mon is hard isn't it?!! I completely know that feeling of being so angry and hurt for your kids and then they go on and face it so much stronger than we do. I think that is also a testament of what we have taught them, be strong and deal with things.
I also react to confrontation like you do. I hate that I think of retorts AFTER the conversation. But you know what, I like my self better after the whole situation is over, because I didn't say things I can never take back and others didn't see me making a fool of myself.
Dallas has a much better mom than those others boys because you are just trying to mend a hurt and she is being defensive and causing a hurt!
You are awesome and anyone that knows you doesn't want you to change!
Go have a wonderful weekend and forget about it all!
Love, Susan
I'm sorry....being a Mom is the best job in the world, but unfortunately it's the hardest job too. Don't hate the part of your personality that is non-confrontational....it's what makes you...you.
Your blog was well stated...maybe you should email those Mother's the site...or print it out for them to read.
Reguardless...I think your an awesome Mother!
Nothing gets my blood boiling faster than an injustice to one of my kiddo's!
If it's any consolation, Dallas is probably most mature guy in my class! He's a great young man.
The apple certainly doesn't fall far from the tree; too bad this boy's parents are enabling his behavior by condoning and defending it.
Don't feel bad about being non-confrontational, Devon; it just means that you take other people's feelings into consideration before you speak and there is no harm in that.
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