A Thousand Splendid Suns

I am an early bird by nature... I fall asleep early (usually around nine or ten, at the latest) and my eyes inevitably pop open before the sun has risen. We have roosters that live down the street from us who crow all day long, but I definitely beat them to the punch. So, when I stay up to finish a book until 1:30 in the morning... you know it has to be good. Because it doesn't matter how late I fall asleep, I'm still rolling out of bed at the crack of dawn.

"So," your asking, "what book, pray tell, kept you up until the wee hours of the night?" (Actually you probably aren't asking that since I have a picture of the book right there... darn... so much for the suspense.) Yes, it's A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini. Now, I certainly would never claim to be a masterful book reviewer, and it's easy enough to look up what the book is about, but I have to say... this gut-wrenching tale captured my attention through every last page.

I've always been a sucker for historical fiction, particularly notable events that affected entire societies and cultures. I go through phases where I continue reading about certain time periods until I have exhausted my own patience. For example, after reading "The Tale of Two Cities", I became obsessed with learning as much about the French Revolution as I could. Not exactly a highlight in human history, but wow... it amazes me what people are capable of doing to each other and also how much people can take and still maintain a thread of hope.

I guess that's why this book caught me so off guard. It's not really historical fiction because it takes place almost entirely during my lifetime. And as old as I often feel, I just can't bring myself to call that "history"... yet. I guess this would be more "contemporary fiction" based on people that have gone through horrifying events at the same time that I was relaxing in many hot baths, vacationing in several exciting places, and enjoying the luxuries that we so easily take for granted. I laid there after reading this book and thought about how many times I have been depressed because our house wasn't done, or a meal didn't turn out well, or my car had a flat tire. Man... I know I've had these epiphanys before and I often think about how thankful I should be for what I have... a wonderful family, a warm home, a car that gets me where I want to go, etc... but sometimes it takes reading a heart gripping account to rock you out of your spoiled little world.

These people don't live too far from us... just around the corner of the earth. And once again, I am in awe at what people can do to each other. I laid there in the dark just picturing God looking down on our selfish little planet shaking his head and wondering where it all went wrong. Liberal or conservative or somewhere in between, the politics seem so trivial when you read about how much people can take in life yet still have hope. And I guess that is what keeps God from just giving up on us altogether... hope. The hope that someday we will realize that we are all in this together... no matter what we "believe" -- political, spiritual, philosophical, or any other "cal" word you can think of.

I can't help but think about one of John Mayer's songs. He says "Belief is a beautiful armor but makes for the heaviest sword". If only we could stop the wars based on everyone's different beliefs. If I were a contestant in Miss America, I would definitely ask for "World Peace"!

I just wanna know WHY???

"Why am I doing this?" keeps reverberating through my head when I have gone out to run the last 3 times. Actually... I hear that a lot... like when I was swimming in the dark, icky Percy Priest waters last summer watching the confident swimmers fly by me as if they had small propellers attached to their ankles. Or just about every time I go out on a group ride with the local riding club, I notice how quickly they disappear over the horizon even though I know I am pedaling as fast as my short, squatty legs will carry me. And now I am doing it with running. I do okay when I am by myself (hence the fact that there is no one to compare myself with) but I've joined a running group and now once again, I get to watch how swiftly and nimbly everyone else strides past me as if I am walking with my shoes tied together. (They aren't... I've checked!)

I used to try and blame it on my size, but in each of those groups I've mentioned, there is always some tiny, athletic woman sprinting past me with a big smile on her face. Or even worse, in the triathlons, we each get to wear the badge of our age written in SHARPEE directly on our calf for everyone to see. Nothing like watching the 68 year old woman pass you as if you are standing still. Or the 12 year old that kind of giggles at you as they scrurry along without a care in the world.

So, I keep asking myself... WHY AM I DOING THIS?

Some people have said "Oh, what a great example you are setting for your kids... look at what your teaching them." Okay, that sounds nice... but that is definitely not it. I did initially start this "adventure" with Chelsie. She was experiencing the same thing I am talking about at swim meets with her highly competitive swim team, so we decided to do triathlons together to boost both of our self esteems. But after watching the asthmatic, overweight 52 year old woman pass me on a hill that I had trained over and over on... well.... that really is not a big confidence booster. My kids think I'm crazy. Last night I ran 3 miles in 23 degree weather with shin splints -- there really is nothing rational about it. I think they are right - I am crazy.

So, if not for my kids, you ask, then perhaps you are doing it for yourself. Hmmm... self torture, that's a sign of a healthy woman, now isn't it? My health... okay, I do feel good about that... I know I'm keeping my heart healthy, even if my feet look as if I perform self mutilation rites on them each night.

Let's see... let me list what I do like about it and maybe that will help me figure this out... I do like the feeling of accomplishment. I love setting goals for myself and completing them. I love the positive and exciting atmosphere of the triathlons and races I've done. Most of the people there (not the real competitive ones) are very encouraging and even cheer you on as they run past you -- that happens a lot to me! I'm not competitive, but I do love the feeling of passing someone (even when it is the elderly or handicapped... I've already told you I'm not a healthy woman :)

I guess I will never really figure out WHY I am doing this. It's just what I am doing right now. Maybe sometime soon I will find another diversion that will be a bit more leisurely and less self-defeating. Maybe I could take up flower pressing. Do they have a competition in that?

Evilness in the World

(Pardon me while I digress... I am still digging through pictures to complete Part 2 of the Dreaming Nomad.) I woke up this morning to the sound of Tucker, the evil 90 lb dog that has been sent from hell to complicate my life, chewing up ornaments from off of the Christmas tree. Actually, this post is not about how evil my dog is, I realize he is just a very large puppy with a very small brain :) He didn't know how much that particular ornament meant to me. He didn't realize (until I kicked his obnoxious butt out into the cold morning snow) that the ornament he so carefully choose to dispose of was made for me by my good friend and former step-mother, Roxy. Actually, most of the ornaments on my tree are from her. From Chelsie's very first Christmas, up until a few years ago, Roxy would give us special ornaments every Christmas to hang on our tree. She made each one special by writing each of the kids names on it and the year she gave it to us. She even handmade several elaborate ornaments with sequins one year. I can't imagine the amount of time it took her to make those... they were so detailed and meticulously made. Tucker didn't realize that he was demolishing something that she put a lot of time and love into and something that we have cherished for at least 10 years.

Roxy died on June 12th, 2005. She died after a courageous fight against one of my top ten evilnesses (not a word, I realize, but in the immortal words of Roxy -- I'm "vocabulizing") in the world -- cancer. I started to put that word all in capitals, but then I decided that it doesn't deserve that privilege. Because even though cancer is what finally took Roxy's life, it is not what defined her life. What defined Roxy in my life was her big, beautiful smile, her deep, probbing questions, her enduring support -- simply put, her friendship.

Roxy and my dad first started dating when I was 16 years old. Oh... can you imagine? I'm sure evilness is one of the words Roxy used to describe me during that time period. She tried so hard to be my friend, but my hormones and teenage mercilessness wouldn't allow it at the time. Fortunately for me, they stayed together and married after I left home for college.

Roxy always loved to make you think. I think she should have been a psychologist. She would ask the most penetrating questions. And they would come from out of the blue -- when you least expected them. And her advice was always heart-felt and sincere -- she wouldn't mince words or say what she thought you wanted to hear. She would tell you exactly how she saw it, whether you wanted to hear it or not.

Roxy had a huge impact on my life as "grandma" to my kids. She really didn't like the idea of being a grandma... she wanted to go by "Aunt Roxy". It was an age thing. Considering she was only around 40 when I had Chelsie, and she had two young boys of her own, she definitly did not feel ready for the grandmotherly roll. But once the roll sank in, she mastered it and she will always be known as "Grandma Roxy" in our home.

Chelsie and Roxy had a very close bond. If it wasn't for Roxy, I wouldn't have video of Chelsie as a baby. She made a croop tent for Chelsie when she was sick with a terrible cough. She gave Chelsie her first ride on a horse and later even GAVE Chelsie her dearest horse, Buck. I'm sad that Dallas didn't get more of an opportunity to spend time with Roxy and get to know the wonderful Grandma she had become to my kids.

Roxy brought many other special people into our lives. Her two boys, Nathan and Seth, her sisters, Becky, Dawna, and Pamm, and their children were very welcoming to my family throughout her life and even after she died. I was so grateful that they included the kids and I in the spreading of Roxy's ashes.

I am so thankful that she invited Chelsie and I to visit her one last time a few weeks before she left this world. I am so honored that she chose to have us close to her in the end. Roxy fought that cancer so hard. She did everything they told her to do, and more. I despise it for taking her out of mine and my kids lives. I am indebted to Roxy for so many happy memories. My tree is still covered with Roxy, even if it is just one less this morning, thanks to the big, stupid dog who is once again sprawled out on the couch without a care in the world. Guess that's how Roxy would have wanted it.

The Dreaming Nomad (Part 1)

Okay... hold tight... I'm about to tell you what I have decided to be when I grow up (which is really "when my kids grow up" in disguise). I want to be a nomad! I love to travel. I want to see the world... not in a tour bus or with a guide. I would rather do it on foot or on my bike. A year or so ago I read the most fantastic book about a couple who went around the world on their bikes. AWESOME! Now I am reading about a lady, at the age of 47, travels the world by "moving in" with families and getting to know their daily lives rather than watching them from a hotel window. Once again, AWESOME!!

Since I can't do much traveling right now, I love to dream and plan. I have planned more trips than you can imagine. Someday I want to take them all. I want to bike up the North Carolina Outer Banks. I want to visit Slovakia, Austria, Italy and Germany (just to name a few). I want to move to Costa Rica or some Central American country for a year and live off of a few dollars a day.

But for now, I will tell you about where we have been. I often have to remind myself that as a young family, we have traveled a lot. Guess I can't call us a young family anymore, but here's some pictures of when we were :)

First off, Bart and I went to New Orleans and Clearwater Beach for our honeymoon. We had a wonderful time exploring the French Quarter, even in the hot August weather and then hitting the beach for a week of relaxation in Florida.

The first trip we took as a family was back to Florida to visit Bart's sister, Ghuree, and her family in Pensacola. Chelsie was 6 and Dallas was 7 months old. While we were there, we went to the windy, cool beach (it was February), Disney World, Sea World, and the Naval Museum.

We started camping with the kids when they were pretty young... considering it was tent camping, I thought we were pretty bold :) Some of my best memories are of our family camping together, which goes to show what a great nomad I would make! We camped in places like Independence Pass (CO), Glenwood Springs (CO), Lake Scott (KS), Mammoth Cave (KY), Ft. Pickens Beach (FL), Great Smokey National Park (TN), and endless state parks in TN. My favorite camping trip when the kids where still pretty young was to Moab, UT. WOW.. the beauty here was indescribable. And we were doing some serious primitive camping... no potties, no showers... TRUE NOMADS :) This is a picture of the kids at Arches National Park in front of what I think is that arch that recently collapsed. I'm so glad we have had the opportunity to see these beautiful places before their age and other outside interferences ruin them.

Once we moved to Tennessee, we got the chance to start visiting places in the east. We went several times to Louisiana to visit Bart's sister and family. And several more times to Florida. We loved the beach (who doesn't) and tried to get there at least once a year.

One of our more memorable trips and one we definitely want to do again (I hope it's not too late) was our trip to Washington D.C. We were fortunate enough to be able to stay with my step-mother's (Roxy) sister, Becky Fox and her wonderful family. We spent a week exploring as much of the DC area as we could. I can tell you that is not enough. Here is a cute picture of Dallas taking a picture of the State Capitol Building. Chelsie's favorite place was the Holocaust Museum. She has been fascinated with the history of the Holocaust since I can remember. I hope someday she will be able to visit Europe to see where it all really happened.

Before I end Part 1, the last trip I have time to tell you about was our trip to San Diego. Roxy's son, Seth, was graduating from the Marines Training Academy and we were blessed enough to be asked to join them. We had such a wonderful time there. We stayed in downtown San Diego and didn't rent a car (hmmm... sounds like nomads to me :). We explored all over the place on foot, trolleys, buses... for some reason, that was our favorite part. We loved everything we saw, but getting there was half the fun. And I think I will end Part 1 with that little phrase.. "getting there is half the fun." I don't want to travel through life flying directly into a new place, a new culture, and looking at it through the hotel window. I want to LIVE it! Nomads RULE!! :)

Hair Farmers Unite

I wish I could take credit for the title of this blog. Just one look at our engagement and wedding pictures will show you how Bart came up with that title. One day, long, long ago... one massive head of hair met another immense amount of hair and said "will you be mine?" And with that, it was love at first sight!

Here is the blog you asked for, Leesa... how Bart and I met and got engaged.

Bart and I first met at Target in 1990. We both lived in Colorado Springs and went to the University of Colorado (UCCS). When we first met, we were both in other relationships and were just passing friends. He would "pass" by my counter holding hands with his girlfriend all the time :) He likes to tell me that he liked me the first time he saw me walk into Target, but I'm not so sure I believe that. I knew Bart as a very nice guy, extremely friendly to everyone, easy going, but with all that hair and the rock band... well, I just didn't think we were each others type.

I was blessed with Chelsie in 1992, quit working at Target, but continued on with my degree at UCCS. You would think that Bart and I wouldn't ever see each other again. We had such completely opposite lives. He continued on at Target, but also worked as a camera man at KKTV and was seriously engrossed with his life in Psyco Drama. In August 1994, we happen to run into each other in King Soopers. We hugged each other and talked about our lives. Again, we both went our seperate ways and on with our lives. Then in December of that year, we happen to meet up at a mutual friend's Christmas party. It wasn't really by accident at this point. Bart had made sure that a friend of mine made me go to that party. Thank goodness he did that (I probably wouldn't have gone ;) We enjoyed getting to know each other again at the party and as I was getting ready to leave, he asked if I would go to the KKTV Christmas party that next weekend up in Cripple Creek with him. Obviously I couldn't turn that down!

Well, the rest is kind of history after that first date. We spent as much time together as we could after that. Chelsie and I got to know a very giving, gentle, loving person and Bart got to know the crazy life of a single mom of a strong willed two year old. On Valentine's Day, Bart gave me a beautiful ruby ring. Unfortunately, one of the ruby's fell out not to long after he gave it to me. Bart took the ring back and said he was going to get it fixed. I was bummed because I really liked that ring.

On Mother's Day, Bart told me he wanted to take me out to dinner (we didn't splurge on fancy dinners out very often, so this was pretty special.) Chelsie spent the evening with Bart's mom. After dinner, we went for a "hike" up to the top of Pulpit Rock. Pulpit Rock is a large rock formation that overlooks the city, Garden of the Gods and Pikes Peak. That's when Bart pulled out the "new" ring (I thought it was a replacement of the ruby ring in the box, but I was shocked to find an engagement ring!) He asked me to marry him and I would love to say that I demurely replied "yes", but I was so excited that I threw my arms around him and replied very sailor man like "@%#$ YES, I WILL!".

On a sad note, when we returned back to Bart's parents house to pick up Chelsie and spread the news, she came running into the room to see us and tripped on a rug, falling face first into their coffee table. Poor thing! But black eye and all... we were all very excited!

We were married on August 13th, 1995 in Green Mountain Falls, Colorado. Green Mountain Falls is a small community up in the mountains by Colorado Springs. We got married on a small lake that has a large gazebo in the middle of it.

We had a casual wedding surrounded by our friends and family. Chelsie (still 2 years old) was our flower girl and our nephew, Alex, was the ring bearer. They were absolutely adorable. Chelsie has always been pretty sure of herself and since Alex wanted to stop and talk to everyone along the way, she basically dragged him across the bridge to their places on the gazebo.

My dad, a judge, officiated our wedding. My good friend, Michelle Wright, was my maid of honor and Bart's friend and fellow band member, Cory Brown, was his best man. Seriously... there was a LOT of hair going on at this wedding!

And, well... these two colossal heads of hair are still living out their dreams, happily ever after!

Colorado to Tennessee... What an Adventure!

A good friend of mine (and fellow blogger :) recently asked me what brought us to Tennessee. I started to write her a short little answer on Facebook, but realized that there was so much more to it. Our move from Colorado, the place where I was born and raised, the land that I love, was a BIG adventure in my life. But... I must take you back a little to get this story started. Let's start at the very beginning... a very good place to start... (Oh wait, that's a song from the "Sound of Music"... sorry, I'm so easily distracted.)

Bart and I were married in Colorado Springs in 1995. A year after we married, we bought a 100 year old home right in the heart of Colorado Springs. We fell in love with that house and immediately started gutting it from top to bottom. The history of that old house that I discovered along the way is completely another story -- very fascinating for history buffs, like myself. Anyway, I digress, we worked on that house for 4 years. At the that time, Chelsie was in elementary school and Dallas was just a baby. I was working at the El Paso County District Courthouse for a District Court Judge. I job shared with a friend of mine and worked every other week. It was a fantastic set up... being able to spend a week off with my kids and then work the next week. But, I had pretty much worked up as high as I could go in my job. I was a clerk to a judge and the next step up was... well... law school, I guess. I had no intention or desire to do that (even though I had gotten my degree in Political Science... what the heck else do you do with that???). So I started to feel a bit stuck.

Bart was extremely busy doing his usual thousand jobs at one time... engineer at a local studio, remodeling contractor, camera man for CBS, etc... He was also the guitar player in a heavy metal band, Psyco Drama. Check out their video:



Sadly, the band dissolved in 1998. This was a big change for Bart, as he had been with this band for almost 10 years. He, too, was feeling kind of stuck and was itching to make a change.

We started talking about moving somewhere else way before we really thought either one of us was serious. He wanted to find someplace that had more music related opportunities, I just wanted to move somewhere warmer :) We talked about various places... Tampa, Austin,Corpus Christy, California, and of course, Nashville. We visited Nashville in 1998 with Bart's sister and her husband and really kind of liked it. Bart and I came back in 2000 to see if this was really where we would want to live and fell in love with it. The friendly people, the slower Southern lifestyle, the music, the warmth :)

So, in 2001, we completely finished our old house, packed everything onto two trailers (which wasn't much after we had an enormous yard sale), kissed our loved ones goodbye and hit the road.
Can you imagine... we had everything we owned on those two trailers, no jobs, no home, not even an idea of where we were going to live, two young kids and a lot of hope! We fortunately had sold our house in Colorado Springs for $100,000 more than what we bought it for, so we had some savings and time.When we arrived in Nashville, we found a storage unit and unloaded our stuff and then found a hotel on the west side. We had a very patient realtor who spent weeks driving around with us trying to find a new home. We lived in a hotel suite with an 8 year old and a 3 year old for over 6 weeks while we tried to figure out what the heck we were doing. We finally found a place we liked out in Lebanon (30 miles outside of Nashville) on 8 acres and moved in nearly 2 months after we left our home in Colorado Springs.

Most of our friends thought we were crazy. Those who really didn't understand us even thought we were running away from something. But really... we were just searching for something new, an adventure, something to jar us out of what we feared was a rut. It's so easy in life to "get stuck", to just go about your daily life and let it pass without really thinking about it. We didn't want that... we wanted to shake things up and say "Hey life... what do you have for us!" I can't say we have found it all here in Tennessee... or that we haven't felt like we were "stuck" ever again. We always talk about where we want to move to next (right now it's between Costa Rica and Australia :). But, I guess we have grown up a bit in the past 8 years and realize that just up and moving again would have a greater effect on the kids than it did when they were so little. So...for now... you will find us in Lebanon, Tennessee. But you never know... life is too short to not explore this world... there is always time for another adventure!