Platter of Cookies

I had one of those God filled AHA moments yesterday.  While out on a run with some beautiful, spiritual friends, one of the ladies shared something that opened my eyes a bit wider.  She said it in such a beautiful way that I wish I could have recorded it. But I love how God gives us little golden nuggets of wisdom and guidance from others but allows us to hear something special directly from Him.  So, let me share what I took from it.   

Open your hands like you are holding a large platter of food flat on the top of your palms. (Let's say cookies... because it should always be cookies.)   That is the position we are in when we open our hearts to God and ask to receive His presence in our lives. It is with these open hands that we say, "Lord, I am here to receive all that you have for me... I say YES to you, Jesus."  Opening our hearts to God and allowing ourselves to be ready for whatever He has to offer can be a frightening thing.  Especially when we are so used to "taking care of ourselves" or doing it our own way.  And we have an idea of what we think our lives should look like.  So, opening our hands to say, "Here is my life, Jesus... it's all Yours" may just feel a little too foreign to many of us.

The funny thing though is that sometimes when we lift our arms to Jesus and open up our palms to receive from Him, we realize that there is actually already something in our hands (remember that platter of cookies -- but this time its NOT cookies).  It's something that we've been carrying and haven't even realized it. Something that we may not want to let go of because it feels safe, or we've carried it for so long, or what would people think if I put this down!!  Maybe it's something your parents taught you to carry and maybe it's something you don't even want but you don't know how to let it go. The truth is -- sometimes we have to let go of things to be free enough to take what He wants to give us.  

The question I am going to ask myself every morning now is, "Lord, what am I holding on to... what is it that is holding me back from experiencing the freedom you desire for me, Your peace, Your love, Your wisdom, Your joy... "  Because I don't know about you, but I want everything He has for me.  I'm tired of doing it my own way, taking care of myself and, in reality, having NO idea what my life should look like.  Only He knows.  And I'm ready to set down whatever it is that is getting in the way of me opening my arms, my heart, completely to Him.  Even if it is a platter of cookies :)

Abundant Everything

The word 'abundance' has been on my heart a lot lately and this morning, the daily devotional I read, "Jesus Calling", was all about abundance!  I love when Jesus does that... not just in "Jesus Calling" but in other ways -- conversations, songs I hear, versus I'm led to read.  I always see that as His sweet way of reaffirming the words He has been whispering to me.  

Having been raised in a home where proof was a requirement... proof of truth, proof of love, proof of lies... I am a truth seeker and unfortunately, it has led me down many dark roads where my only goal in mind was to find PROOF of what I was believing.  I am learning that sometimes there is no proof... but that shouldn't diminish from the truth -- the truth of who God is and His abundant love for me.  I may watch as a loved one suffers from a debilitating disease... but that doesn't mean that God isn't the ultimate healer. Sometimes the proof we require simply can't be found in our limited understanding of what is going on around us... here and in the supernatural.  Proof of His abundance certainly may not look like what we think it "should". 

I read this morning that abundance is the heart of who God is... which is exactly what He has been whispering to me for the past month.  Where I might settle or lower my hopes and dreams to fit into the confines of this world... He wants to shower me with abundance -- abundant love, abundant hope, abundant grace, abundant joy, abundant hope, abundant peace, abundant safety, abundance, abundance, abundance!  That's who He is and what He wants for each and every one of us!

I get so excited when I think about all that He wants for me and not just what I see or feel.  Fear creeps around... knocking on each door and every window... but in this place with Him, all I can feel is His fullness... and I rest in joyful expectation of receiving all that He has for me!  Thank you for your abundance, Heavenly Father!

Understanding Not Required

"Faith does not require understanding to function."  

Bill Johnson

Several years ago, that statement would have literally made no sense to me. Even at the time of my last blog (October 18, 2014), just 5 short months ago, I was clinging to the 'hope' of faith, but I wasn't resting in it.  

Faith = trust.  You can't have one without the other.  They are one and the same.  Good old Webster says "faith is a firm belief or trust in someone or something". Cut that down "faith IS trust". They are synonyms for each other.  

So when I say that I was clinging to the 'hope' of faith, what I mean is that I fervently wanted to believe that I trusted God, and I HOPED that if it came down to it that my trust, my faith would stand up against any trials and circumstances...but I couldn't say with an absolute certainty that it would. 

I've always been a ducks in a row kind of person.  Responsibility. Accountability. Dependability. Sensibility.  All those abilities... that is where I claimed my identity.  And those are not bad things... they all look quite good to the world around me.  But that is where the buried trouble lies.  I was searching for and requiring approval from the world around me.  My safety was found in being responsible, accountable, dependable and sensible.  I understood those things and could never understand someone that I viewed as being the opposite of those.  I judged the world based on my understanding of and need for those in my life.

Our need for understanding is strong. We are raised in a culture that teaches us to understand the working of the world and those in it.  We take classes to learn how to understand people and how to BE better people, we take personality tests to better understand ourselves.  And where is all this understanding coming from... the WORLD.    

Just a few days after my last post, my world was rocked in such a way to make me realize that not only will I truly not ever clearly understand the world and the choices people make, but that ALL we truly have to lean on is faith and trust in Him in ways that simply do not make sense.  I watched as responsibility, accountability, dependability and sensibility crumbled around me.  What made sense to me for all of my 40 years was suddenly stripped away and left me with the realization that what I relied on for my reality was really just a facade that this world wants us to believe. 

And I also realized that I don't want to live in that facade anymore.  I don't want to pretend to understand anymore.  I want to simply trust.  I want to have a faith that goes beyond what the world tells me is responsible, accountable, dependable and sensible. 

What does that look like?  Like nothing I've ever seen before. It looks pretty irresponsible and insensible to all my ducks in a row.  To some, it even looks down right crazy.  But I guess that's how I know it's from God... that's how I know its faith.  Because FAITH DOES NOT REQUIRE UNDERSTANDING.  It simply requires Trust. 

Today I walk in trusting and KNOWING that my God loves me so much that He doesn't want me to settle.  He doesn't want me to seek safety in the world... He wants me to rest in His secure arms -- trusting that His plans for me are FAR greater than I could even imagine.  It's seeing my life from His perspective... not the narrow vision I have had from my own personal understanding.  

Right now it means stepping away from what would be the responsible thing to do.  It means I am accountable only to God... accountable to listen to Him. It means I am not striving to be dependable, I am simply living dependent on Him. No one else needs to understand.  That's really the coolest part of all this... understanding is not required.  Just faith.  Just trust.  

And don't mind my stray ducks.