Thanksgiving Everyday

On this Thanksgiving morning, God led me to a sweet reminder.
Psalm 107:8-9. "Let them thank the Lord for His unfailing love and His wonderful deeds for mankind, for He satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul He fills with good things."
Our once a year Thanksgiving is about a big meal, shared with those we love and giving thanks for all that He has blessed our lives with. It can be a beautiful, special day but often stress, heartache, and drama can sneak its way in before we even realize it.
God's Thanksgiving is everyday -- satisfying our hungry souls with all of His wondrous unfailing love, peace, hope and joy! No stress, no drama...just amazingly simple gifts...every single day. It's ours for the taking...every moment...not just a once a year celebration. This year, Lord, I'm going to worry less about the meal, the perfect table... and more about the satisfaction that You bring my soul. The peace You pour into me. The love You shower upon me. And Your never ending grace! Happy Thanksgiving!

Three simple words

Not too long ago, God placed three words on my heart. 

Respect. Honor. Communication.  

I had been searching for an answer to one of those ultimate questions... how do I show love, spread joy, and maintain peace in my relationships while on this wild and bumpy journey through life?

God gently explained to me that "Honor isn't about being honored first. It's about giving honor to others for who they were created to be... not what you expect them to be.  Communication isn't about hearing only what you want to hear.  It's about listening to their hearts and when you do speak, it's always about pointing them to Me. Respect isn't about earning it first and then reciprocating it.  It's about pouring it out, like Jesus does...

without a thought of how much you will receive back." 

He was reminding me that I don't HAVE TO receive these things from people when I KNOW that Jesus has more than I can ever imagine and is showering it on me constantly.

So, this is where I start... each day... Respect. Honor. Communication. Three things I am certainly not entitled to, but three things I long for in my relationships. Sometimes they slip my mind, sometimes the enemy manipulates them, sometimes I just flat out suck at handing them out...but thanks to an incredible Heavenly Father who is always by my side...I pray that they will always be on my heart... leading me, guiding me... straight to Jesus!

De-Facebooking My Life

Three weeks ago, I deactivated my Facebook page.  As I was describing to an old friend that had reached out to me by email (so old school :), after some unusual Facebook drama, I had the realization that I needed some time away from it.  It dawned on me that Facebook stirred in me feelings of "how the world feels about me" rather than "how does GOD, or even, how do I feel about myself". In other words... I was getting my identity from others rather than from God himself.  For the past year or more, God had been guiding me to use FB in a more positive way -- encouraging others, loving others and sharing my heart and His words.  But even that was a distraction... I was looking at the world for peace and love that only He can truly provide.

It was tough at first... I literally felt isolated and alone.  Facebook had been my source of communication with even those I talk to on a regular basis.  And when that was cut off, it was kind of painful. Which made me realize even more just how much it had almost become an idol in my life.  It was an indulgence for me, an escape... even just a habit...that was taking my heart away from the simple things... God, my marriage, my family.

Don't get me wrong, FB is an awesome way to maintain friendships that I might not otherwise maintain.  But is that really true?  Friendship is more about relationship, not just an occasional "thumbs up" on someones page.

I guess it's a catch 22 -- I want to keep in touch with all my friends through pictures, comments and communication.  I just don't want to get bogged down in the negativity that can go along with it.  Facebook is just another giant playground for the enemy to dig in and mess with our heads.  And I'm certainly not going to let him win... but I did need some time to just pull out and recharge.

My husband and I are actually thinking of starting a joint page instead of re-opening our own private pages again.  One thing God has been doing during this precious time unplugged is strengthen our marriage.  Not knowing how to "do" marriage, I have spent most of mine trying to maintain my own identity rather than a couples identity with the man God placed in my life.  After years of hearing the word "patience", I am getting to witness answered prayers on a daily basis in our marriage.  And we feel that facing the world as a team, as a strong-unified couple might just be a better way to re-enter the Facebook world.

So, for those of you who were friends of mine on Facebook, please know that I have not de-friended you (as I have been accused already by a particular not so close relative) or rejected you in anyway.  And I'm easy to reach -- by email, phone or text.  Thank you for your love and understanding during my "time-off".  I miss you... love you... and look forward to continuing on this journey with you! 

The Joy of a Mechanical Pencil :)

A few weeks ago, I posted a Facebook status about "being the pencil".  That particular morning, God had showed me the connection between writing in pencil -- and forgiveness.   As I was writing in my journal, He showed me how life should be treated "like a pencil" -- with the ability to erase wounds from the past -- to turn the page to a more free and burdenless life.  I'm not talking about "burying" the past by trying to forget it or stuffing it... I'm talking about finding freedom from the past through the healing truth that only Jesus can provide -- it's called forgiveness.

The enemy tries to use 'ink' in our life -- trying to never let us forget the past or burying it so deep that it festers and causes more problems than that single event itself.  That morning, through a simple analogy, God revealed to me how much I needed to stop hanging on to the past, bringing up old wounds, throwing them in someone's face ("remember what you did to hurt me"), or throwing them into my own face (guilt and shame). But instead, to slowly heal those wounds by erasing their impact on my life AND moving forward with respect, honor and communication -- again, it's called forgiveness.

Yesterday, God showed me ANOTHER pencil analogy.  This past week had been tough.  I won't bore you with the details, but it was one of those weeks that I know everyone can relate to.  By Friday, I was D.O.N.E.  I could barely muster a smile, certainly couldn't be "engaging and supportive" in any conversation, and simply wanted to put that rotten week behind me by vegging on the couch and staring at the TV.  Blah!  I hate feeling that way.  I knew that the enemy had gotten the upper hand and was having a party in my head with lies and I was too exhausted to focus long enough on God's truth about me to win the battle.  I felt defeated, rejected, and worn.  WORN TO A NUB.  You know, one of those tiny little pencils that has been sharpened so many times that you can barely write with it. 
I'm sure you can relate...how after what feels like a continual battle from all sides -- the needs of others, the drama created unnecessarily by the world around us, the lies we've been believing and the yokes we have placed around our own necks -- eventually it just wears us down.

So, to sum this up, I've decided to change my initial analogy  -- the key in life is to "be the MECHANICAL pencil".  It really makes sense. The awesome thing about God is that He is always right there, waiting to fill you up... with His love, grace, mercy, tenderness, compassion... what ever you need.  Whenever you start to run low on "lead", you just turn to Him and BAM.... more life, more freedom, more strength to face the battles, more courage, more love... MORE OF WHATEVER YOU NEED!  No need to worry about the world wearing you to that place where all you feel is small and worthless, but instead you are a glorious, always ready to be filled, beautiful and perfect creation, that not only gets refilled by our amazing Creator, but you always have the ability to erase those feelings of rejection, unworthiness and fear with one swipe of His Almighty grace, mercy, peace, joy and love.  Who wouldn't want to be a mechanical pencil, I ask you? :)   
 

Soldiers Unite

Wow -- four years since my last post.  I suddenly feel like a Catholic making a confession, "In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Forgive me, my last post was four years ago..." :)  Funny... four is not a big number (it happens to be my favorite number, but that's a whole 'nother topic.)... but my world has turned upside down in the last four years. My plan is to blog about the life changing, earth shattering (slightly exaggerated to add suspense) changes that have happened in my life. I don't feel like my story is exceptional or extraordinary... but I do know that God wants me to share it.  I believe He wants us all to share our stories.  It never ceases to amaze me just how far a little bit of transparency and honesty can get you in life and in relationships.  The enemy taught me early on in life that there is something wrong with me... something that people don't want to be around.  So, I learned to keep things to myself... put on a mask and say "I'm fine. Everything is O.K."  And when it comes down to it, and we "confess" that to others, you will be shocked at how many people were fed that same lie and have worn a similar mask.  Walls, masks, lies... these are some of the methods the enemy has engaged in our life to keep us from fighting the ultimate battle... the battle to be who God created us to be.   

Nine months ago, I started working for an inner-city ministry for the poor and disenfranchised. There hasn't been a single week since I've been with Isaiah 58 that has been "easy". There is a battle of some kind Every. Single. Day.  I was even warned of this upfront... that the enemy hates what we are doing and will do everything in his deceitful power to stop it.  The personal battle I face is to not compromise any of my values while dealing with those conflicts. There have been days that I could literally feel the presence of the enemy either weighing heavily on the men or just simply tangling up our daily circumstances. So, the struggle for me is to always keep my focus on God and know that the God of angel armies is by my side. 2 Tim 2:3-4 reminds us that as soldiers, while engaged in this battle, we need to be careful not to get entangled with the affairs of this world.  I want to live my life on purpose... for Jesus alone -- for He is the one who enlisted me. He is the one, the only one, who has shown me what true freedom is...freedom from the bondage of lies the prince of this world has been feeding me all my life! It's when God reminds me that I am part of a mighty Spiritual Kingdom that I can face the day with courage, to face the battles I know are going to come, and to stand strong in who I am... the soldier He created me to be.  So join me, my fellow soldiers... on this journey we call life...hang on tight to Jesus, stay strong and know that no matter what happens, He is the Ultimate General that will protect you in every battle you face.