Bold Love

     Have you ever realized that there tends to be a "theme" to where God keeps challenging you, or leading you, or constantly reminding you? (I really wasn't going to say nagging... because God doesn't nag... but when He has to keep repeating the same theme because I'm too stubborn to listen...well, call it whatever you want. :) 

     When I first became a Christian, God placed the word "Patience" on my heart and stuck with it for over a year. Anytime I wanted to complain about something or demand results, He whispered "patience".  Ugghh!!  But, eventually I got it! I hold that word dear now and listen intently when He reminds me to be patient. Thank God HE is patient with me! :)

     Looking back over old journals and recent conversations with Him, it finally dawned on me that the theme He has been pursuing with me over the past year is "Bold Love".  He has used other terms and phrases... "Fearless Courage", "There are no BUTTS in love", etc...  But no matter how He puts it, I realized that it all points back to "Bold Love".

     You know, really... all things with God points back to love.  It's not new news that the word love is used over 550 times in the Bible (depending on your version, of course.) And throughout the Bible we hear God encouraging His followers to "Take courage", "Be strong", "Have no fear!".  So, when you put those together, you get Bold Love, Fearless Love, Courageous Love.  I didn't used to 'get' that -- I loved the people that I knew would love me back, or at least the ones that seemed to fake it the best ;) ... my parents, some teachers, friends, husband, my kids...  I didn't stray too far from what I now see as "Safe Love."  But even then, it wasn't entirely safe...potential rejection is always right around the corner... lurking in the darkness ready to pounce.  And that's what held me back from truly loving from the center of who I am... who He created me to be. (Romans 12:9 "Love from the center of who you are." MSG)  I only loved from the fringe, the safe place, gave just enough love to get you through the day because heaven knows I didn't want to risk the pain that could come from rejected love.

     So when I was writing in my journal to Him about that verse I said, "I want the center of who I am to be Jesus, to be the Holy Spirit -- filled up, no space left for anything else." And as usual, He surprised me with this gentle reminder..."Leave room for you, my love. I created you, unique and special -- don't leave out who I created. There's room for both -- the Holy Spirit and YOU,  Just make sure its the genuine you -- not the one punctured by lies and anger from the enemy. The other part of that verse says "don't fake it." (MSG version)... Don't be who you think I want you to be or who others want you to be -- Be who I created you to be."  

     As usual, I tried to argue with Him, "But sometimes I'm so lost in the lies and the fear that I lose sight of who I'm created to be." And He whispered, "You lose sight because of where you are looking.  Keep your eyes on Me and you will never lose sight of who you are."  Hebrews 12:2 "Fixing our eyes on Jesus..." NASB).

     So again, I've strayed a bit off topic... but really, this all points back to His theme of "Bold Love".  It takes a lot of courage to love without fear, to ignore the lies the enemy has well established in your head, and love others without fear.  What does "Bold Love" look like to you?  Hugging a stranger or maybe even just smiling at one?  For some, that takes a lot of courage. It might be loving someone that you know simply doesn't have the capacity to love you back the way you want them to.  That's a tough one, but if you are loving from YOUR center, the one filled with Jesus AND you, then it gets easier and easier. 

     Whatever "Bold Love" looks like to you... try acting on it today.  Maybe start out easy... hug longer than what you are used to.  Make eye contact with someone you wouldn't normally notice... and smile. Then build up... show grace to someone that bugs the crap out of you, forgive someone that continually seems to hurt you.  This is where I am starting... baby steps... to completely FEARLESS BOLD LOVE.  Even just one a day will keep the enemy away.... and lead you to be exactly who He created you to be - A BOLD AND LOVING CREATURE!  :)

 

          

Which Came First?

Ahhh... the unanswerable question... which came first?  I'm not talking about the chicken and the egg though. And my question is answerable.  But allow me to digress...

As I was hanging out with Jesus this week, asking the deep and heavy questions that I love to throw at Him, I was working my way through thoughts about why some people don't seem to be willing to make the choices to help themselves. Does that make sense?  I work with folks that have lived in a much more harsh world than I have.  But when I see an opportunity for them to improve their situation, it is hard for me not to get frustrated when they don't jump on board.  And so I asked God,

"Do you feel that way, Lord?"  I mean, how agonizing it must be for Him to know the path He has laid out for us, but watch us continually take the wrong one. ;)  And that is when it hit me (duh!)... His grace is far bigger than the thoughts and justifications we juggle here on earth. I mean, who am I to judge how willing or able someone else is to help themselves?

So, if God's grace is bigger than all of this... why isn't mine?  Then a word hit me... "legalistic grace."  I realized that in my quest to learn as much about grace and live a life filled with it, I had become legalistic about grace!  Taking it a step further, I have actually become legalistic about not being legalistic! :)  How ironic is that? As a new creature in Christ, I have become very sensitive about what sounds legalistic and avoiding it at all costs -- judging and condemning others the minute I hear something that even remotely sounds legalistic to me.  Upon having this revelation, I prayed "Lord, help me not to judge. Teach me to just show grace... and nothing more."

And with that, I started to close my journal... but God wasn't done yet.  He gently prodded me to open it back up and whispered these words to me "Love... grace is nothing without love.  Never forget to love first, then grace will come."  Which made me ponder, can you have unloving grace?  Yep... I think I can even think of examples of where someone was doing something that I didn't like and I 'forced' myself to show grace -- but it truly was forced... it was a fake grace. Because beneath the "exterior of grace", there was anger and bitterness and hardly any love at all.  So, I erased and rewrote that prayer in my head...

"Lord, help me to love for love's sake alone.  Teach me to love because You love me more than I can imagine and You call me simply to love. You created me to love.  Let me love first... and grace will follow."
So now I know which came first -- love... then grace. :)   

Who are you?

Hi.  My name is Devon. (Hello Devon)... and I'm a shame-aholic. 

     That's right, I'm addicted to shame.  I go to bed each night and wake up each morning with a strong desire to think about all the things I've done wrong, the things I've said, the things I didn't say, the things I wish I'd done but didn't do... you name it, I'll find a way to feel guilty over it.  Before I became a Christian, I used to joke that my middle name was "Guilt"... but now I realize it's no laughing matter.  It's serious. I've somehow taken on the identity that I am responsible for how other people feel.  And if they don't feel good or if things aren't going right, I carry a weight of shame over it.  

     And, I have my own personal cheerleader and coach (we all do)... whispering failures in my ear, accusing me of anything I missed.  His name is Satan -- the liar, cheater, accuser and enemy of our soul.  And yet somehow, I find myself listening to this liar.  How ironic is that?  I strive in life for honesty, truth, and goodness, and yet, I allow a LIAR to tell me who I am.

     Of course, even as I wrote that I spotted part of the problem -- "I STRIVE".  The very definition of strive says "to struggle vigorously, to make strenuous efforts towards a goal" with synonyms such as "struggle, toil, try hard".  Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with trying hard to reach a goal.  I've been a triathlete and endurance runner... I know all about strenuous efforts towards an end goal (finish line). But this is life...there is no finish line... death is NOT the finish line. And this is not what we are talking about here...we are talking about "striving" to be someone that God has already created me to be.  That's like striving to be a girl and grow boobies :). (Remember the Judy Blume exercises "I must, I must, I must increase my bust?  Never worked.)

     Seriously though, throughout the Bible, God tells us to "be still", "rest", "take off the yoke", "trust in Him"... so, all of that striving isn't for HIM, it's for ME... and it's a lie. God wants us to stop looking at ourselves through our own eyes (or the eyes of the enemy) and look at ourselves through HIS EYES!  The devil wants us self-conscious, but God wants us Jesus-conscious.  Because He placed us in Christ, all God sees is the excellence, beauty and perfection of Jesus when He looks at us.  He is calling us to stop looking at ourselves and the things we've done (or didn't do), and look to Jesus. Through Jesus, we are completely, utterly, and magnificently accepted, loved, valued, and honored by the one who created everything -- isn't that just mind blowing? 

     So today I say, God's grace is bigger than any addiction. Today is the day that God sets us free from every lie, guilt, and condemnation that the accuser has been bombarding us with.  

     Pray with me:  "Lord Jesus, I thank You for the cross.  I thank You that when You died for me, Your blood cleansed me from all the sins of my entire life.  You are my Lord and Savior.  I give you all of my addictions today.  I am sick and tired of being defeated and condemned by the accuser.  Today I confess that because of the blood of Jesus Christ, I am right now the righteousness of God.  By the supernatural strength and power of the Holy Spirit, who is present to convict me of my righteousness, I will be reminded every day that I am the righteousness of God through Jesus Christ.  Amen!" (Joseph Prince, Destined to Reign)

     Hi.  My name is Devon (Hello Devon)... and I'm a precious, chosen, holy and blameless daughter of our Almighty King.  And guess what... you are too!!