Proverbs 3:5-6 -- "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; lean not on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do and He will direct your paths."
Trust. That's always been a tough one for me.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart". Sounds even tougher... almost impossible.
How do I take my eyes off the ball here on earth... in my daily life, in difficult relationships, in those dark places full of concerns and just TRUST that God really does have this covered and wants the best for me? Sounds down-right delusional really.
That's what the enemy wants me to believe, of course. That I can't trust Him -- that I can't trust anyone but myself. I heard those words repeatedly from my own father as I was growing up... how can a heavenly Father be any different?
But that's when He reminds me that HIS love is not like anything I've ever known and I simply can't understand it... particularly when I focus on it from my own life experiences and world bound perspective.
That's where that second part comes into place, "Lean not on your own understanding." I have to move beyond my "belief system" and move into a relationship. But there's the catch again... not like any relationship I've ever had... something different, something supernatural.
Relationships are hard... and honestly, it's easy to feel like we've failed or at least been a disappointment in many of them. And the enemy loves to tell us that we have failed and disappointed God above everyone else. I mean, I can't even follow His simple command to love others beyond the circumstances of life, to show the grace to others that He continually shows me, or to always be kind, loving, honoring, and respectful to people on a daily basis. I don't always look to Him for my joy, happiness, and self worth --instead I find myself looking to those around me. And that voice in my head that tells me I "shouldn't" feel any of these things if I truly trusted in Him, rested in Him and followed His will instead of mine. I simply can't seem to live up to Jesus's model. So, feelings of failure creep in.
Until He gently tells me that I simply CAN'T EVER DISAPPOINT HIM! What??
Think about it... He is the almighty, the all-knowing, omni-present, omniscient, omnipotent! He knows ahead of time what I'm going to do, the valleys I will cross, the mountains I will face... how can we possibly disappoint or even catch Him off guard, for crying out loud, when He knows everything! And the best part... He just wants to be there with us when we cross those valleys, climb those mountains, screw things up, piss people off. Not to remind us of our failures, but to remind us of His love, His grace, His mercies. He wants to take our hands and guide us down the path... and when we fall off, like we do, He is right there to guide us back.
Then there is that last part... about His will. Sigh. Lord... what is your will? How will I know it? What if I do something that is against your will? What then? And He whispered to me "My will is for you to be secure in my love."
Wow -- could He make it any easier? Rest in His love... and He will direct your paths. Makes that whole "fear of trust" thing just kind of melt away. Thank you, Lord!!
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